I’ll be frank. I’m struggling to stay grounded right now. It is very much a conscious decision and takes concerted effort on my part to do so. I am gutted by so many things happening, and I’m battling some health issues as well. I could very easily give in to anger and let myself spiral into despair.
But I cannot afford to ignore what is happening. None of us can.
As a lifelong history buff, I have often wondered what I would have done during pivotal moments in the past, like World War II or during Civil Rights movement in the 1960s. I had always hoped I would have been on the right side of history, but I never expected to live during such a time. That we are brings to mind a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring:
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Here are the things I’ve done/I’m doing to stay sane and engaged:
Practicing radical self-care
It’s like they say on airplanes: You have to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help someone else with theirs. So to take care of myself, I am eating well; getting enough sleep; acknowledging and processing my feelings; being creative — something I will talk a lot about in coming days, as having creative outlets is utterly necessary for me; indulging in good books, shows and movies; staying physically active; meditating; connecting with friends; and spending quality time with the people I love.
Staying informed and engaged
I’m keeping track of what’s going on without being consumed by it. Doomscrolling doesn’t help. It just leads to the deep rabbit hole of despair. I have curated a list of trusted sources to keep abreast of what’s taking place and form my own opinions. This is not the time to be an ostrich; we cannot stick our heads in the proverbial sand and pretend everything will be OK. Willful ignorance with people believing only what they want to believe is how we got here. Nor is it time just to hope for the best. That time passed with election season. This is the time to pay attention and have your wits about you. We can respond better when we know what’s likely coming.
I have also joined activist groups that resonate with me. Community matters. Having allies matters. Building a like-minded network matters.
Supporting companies whose policies I agree with and boycotting those I don’t
(to the greatest extent possible)
I try very hard to put my money where my mouth is. But I’m also pragmatic: I can’t boycott every single company out there. I simply do the best I can. Perfect is the enemy of done, so I simply do the best I can. Collectively, I believe we can make a difference. What I have done so far:
I deleted my X account.
I sold my Google stock.
I refuse to buy from Target any longer. I have not shopped at Walmart, Home Depot, or Hobby Lobby for years because of their policies.
I already shop Costco, Meijer, Trader Joe’s and Aldi.
I am trying not to use my VISA credit cards.
I shop local when I can. When I shop online, I try to buy from independent companies in blue states if possible; I’d prefer to support their economies.
I am participating in nationwide economic blackouts and boycotts.
All that said, in full disclosure, while I have limited my use, I still do shop Amazon and Whole Foods. I have an extremely restricted diet, and many of my pantry staples and daily supplements can’t be purchased from other chain grocery stores. I am curbing my shopping there though.
I also remain active on Facebook because I am a member of groups that help keep me informed. I just won’t make any purchases from ads on any Meta platform; I’ll buy directly from the company instead.
So, in short, my approach is to do what I can to the best extent possible without negatively impacting my life.
Using my voice
I believe it’s critically important to speak up. Voting is one way every U.S. citizen over 18 years old can use their voice, and too many didn’t in November 2024; look where we are today.
I have become vocal in my life. I will no longer remain silent, something I decided in 2016 and that I practice all the more now. There is a problem with tolerating others’ intolerance and bigotry. When you’re tolerant of intolerance and bigotry, two things happen. First, intolerance becomes dominant. Sound familiar? For too long, we Americans have accepted other people’s intolerant views as mere opinions instead of moral failings, and we’re paying the price for tolerating the intolerable now.
Secondly, when we don’t confront bigotry, when we ignore it or simply stay silent, bigots believe we agree with them, that we’re complicit. As Dr. Jens Foell said, “… if there’s a Nazi at the table and 10 other people sitting there talking to him, you got a table with 11 Nazis.” To an extent, if we don’t stand up for what’s right and just stay quiet to keep the peace out of fear of making someone else uncomfortable or upset, we are complicit. Saying nothing to contradict a bigoted comment could easily be perceived as agreement.
Importantly, I have called and continue to call my U.S. senators and representative. They are supposed to represent their constituents; they work for the American people. Calls do matter. It’s how they respectively track — take a temperature check if you will — what’s going on in their states and congressional district. Our voices matter. It’s supposed to be a government by, for and of the people, not an oligarchy, and certainly not a fascist dictatorship. It’s Congress’ job to provide checks and balances to the executive office, not to cede their power and let a megalomaniac run amok. We need to make sure they do their jobs.
I will say I felt uncomfortable calling at first, but I got over it.
First, when I was just considering it, I remembered the translated confessional prose of Martin Niemöller, a German Lutheran pastor who experienced firsthand the harsh realities of World War II:
First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist
Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist
Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew
Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me
Then I thought about the quote by first-century Jewish scholar Hillel, “If not you, then who? If not now, when?”
So I picked up my phone. And I picked up my phone again. And again.
Protecting my family
At this point, I’m primarily looking to protect my family in two ways: financially and health-wise.
Establishing credit freezes
Financially, we have put a credit freeze in place for both my husband and me, and I am in the process of putting a freeze on my daughter’s credit. Because all Americans’ social security numbers were compromised, we felt it necessary to take steps. This way, if there is an attempt to use one of our SSNs to steal our identities or open a fraudulent account, we’ll be alerted.
After I froze my credit, I did my mom’s and walked a couple of her friends through the process. They’re all receiving social security and on Medicare, so it’s critical that their financial information was protected in as much as possible.
Essentially, you have to put a credit freeze in place at each of the three credit bureaus. Doing it online or by phone takes only a few minutes. It’s a bit more involved for minors, but for older teens and adults, it’s easy. Here is a link that explains how. Important to note: If you want to open a new credit card or bank account or get a loan, you’ll have to lift the freeze in the future.
Staying healthy
Health-wise, I’m doing a few things.
First, I scheduled a yearly physical for my daughter and made sure she got the necessary vaccines. I’m also seeing doctors and taking care of any testing and procedures now because we don’t know what the future holds. While we have good health insurance, if what’s covered by insurance radically changes, I want to make sure I have the medical care I need already done or in place.
Making sure we have healthy food to eat is a big concern. As such, I plan to grow as much of our own produce as I can to ensure we have access to good, organic fruits and vegetables. Some things I can’t grow because of space constraints, like asparagus, but I’ll document my gardening journey here.
Growing our own produce will keep grocery costs down for one thing, especially as food costs will rise with no seasonal workers to do the work. But, more importantly, with public health communication already controlled and decreased, and as I suspect regulations will be relaxed, the likelihood of any food recalls over the next two years if not longer is very slim. I won’t subject us to an E. coli, listeria, or salmonella outbreak. And besides, I love to garden.
*****
All of this goes to say, what I have found as I navigate the craziness taking place in the U.S. and how I respond to all of it is that when I do what I can, I worry less. Sitting and stewing accomplishes nothing, and I would feel terrible and anxious if I did that. Instead, when I call members of Congress, when I sign petitions, when I participate in boycotts, and so on, I’m doing my part.
When I take action as needed, I feel empowered. When I engage with other like-minded people, I feel connected. When I do things I enjoy, I am reminded I live a fortunate life.